Only when my computer died did i feel like committing sucide.

Today I spilled coffee on my computer and it shut off. I opened it up and cleaned it as best I could but the fear of losing $1,099 that I already do not have, as well as the many things that I have stored and worked on for the past year seems to be as unbearable as having all of the fingers of my right hand cut off, honestly probably even more tragic because at least that would give me a good excuse to be bitter.
I thought about how I will lose my entire i-tunes library and opened the window to the bedroom to scope out my easiest death route. I never have and probably never will feel more ungrateful that I live on the second floor.
So I thought about how this whole experience is fueling my already awkward adjustment period. And I realized that its all part of what I need to learn here. Yes there is reason to cry over spilt milk, especially when it was mixed in with the coffee that has raped and killed your mother-board... but honestly, lets be honest... was it worth the shot of need of death that plowed through me more intensely than when I was 16 and emo?
IS IT?
(disclaimer: I still don't know if my computer will work after the cleaning...)
Obviously no, there is no reason I should feel like this about my beloved piece of technology when I realize now that I am trying to fight against it in most of my artistic endeavors. What I really want to do is make a world of art sans technology. Show that a still innovative and meaningful message can be produced without electronics being its driving force.
Our generation is one of technology. We were brought to life before the internet yet act as though we cannot live without it.
Painting is dead they say, sculpture of bronze, marble, and stone have been dead since the greeks aside from various re-births from Michaelangelo and Giacometti. Instead graphic design, video, light installation, photo, even kinetic sculpture (the stuff that is more dear to me than painting itself) are the for-runners of contemporary art. (When I attended the Venice Biennale, out of some 400 artists, only 20 of them were painters.)
And that is part of what baffles me... Who are these are completely nescient critics kidding when they say that we are of a generation of lost creativity? Only in the last 150 (?) years has the art world been stretched from stagnance to movement... but its ok to call Masaccio a genius for composing false realities with 2-D perspective, however when we create worlds that exist in 2-D but make the audience feel as if they were actually moving through a false reality, we are... what? we are somehow bad.
Anyway, I have gotten beyond myself here... way beyond. I do not poo-poo technology or electronics, and I certainly do not want to give that impression (and I also realize that I just compared Masaccio and Stephen Spielberg, but WHAT OF IT??). My life has been simpler and happier and I am very proud of the generation that I belong to. I am very proud of the new strides in art that my generation has produced.
I haven't come up with what I really want to convey with my art, I just think that today I struck a vein. Thats it.